On not being sure who I lost my virginity to but not for the reasons you might think

Recently a friend sent me an article to read. Entitled “Are we having sex now or what?”, it’s an entry from Greta Christina’s blog and something I’m surprised to say that I never thought of before. In this blog entry, the author attempts to define what sexual intercourse is. Now I realise that historically, when I thought of the number of people I’ve had sex with, I limited it to the number of people that I’ve had penetrative vaginal sex with. How ridiculous is that! Of course sex is more than one person putting a fleshy bit into someone else’s moist bits. Much more. The fluidity of how we define sexual intercourse means that we can no longer really count the number of partners someone has had in any meaningful way. It also means that we can no longer shame someone with that same information, and that’s got to be a good thing. In one stroke, this article makes those ‘statistics’ meaningless.

Interestingly, that also means that I didn’t lose my virginity to an older woman when I was 15, like I always assumed. I must have lost it to a boy my own age a year or two earlier.

10 replies on “On not being sure who I lost my virginity to but not for the reasons you might think”

I would say sex is the feeling, both emotional and physical, not necessarily the actions. Take phone sex, for example. Still sex, but no touching each other. Also, there purely mental sex, where you somewhat literally fuck each other’s mind, or perhaps it only goes one way. Very fun!!

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Haha! Imagine if penetrative sex was the only sex, I’d still be a virgin and perhaps forever. Not that lesbians can’t have penetrative sex but it’s not something I enjoy. It did make me wonder for a while, when can I say that I’ve had sex for people to actually class it as sex? It’s so set in the minds of society that sex is definitively penetrative.
It’s so interesting that then, for you, the first sexual intercourse was with another boy at a much younger age

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I have written about this topic b4 – when I was a teen everyone was obsessed that sex was intercourse. So I first had intercourse with lovely Jim in my last year of school! But as the years have passed by I now see that SEX is ANY sexual act that you enjoy. As u say. But not only that I prefer most of the other ways to achieve orgasm, over penetration. Why limit yourself.
Which brings me to the end of your post – I have always said I first had sex when I was 17 – but like you if I consider other (consensual) sex acts – it actually happened with a girl, when we were both 12…
Cool header pic btw
May 😉

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To me sex never was only penetrative sex, but anything that either brought me an orgasm, or could’ve bring me an orgasm had it lasted longer. However, when I counted the sex partners I had in my life, I didn’t count the abusive one that happened at the age of 9, nor the one when I was 15. I only counted the consensual ones 🙂
~ Marie

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