“It appears you don’t believe me when I tell you how hot my PA is,” said Candaules, Managing Director of Lydia plc. He held a tumbler of his favourite 1982 Port Ellen whisky up at eye level, savouring the golden amber colour. “Hot. Fucking hot,” he corrected himself. “So you are shagging her,” smirked his Finance Director, Gyges. “I knew there was something going off between you!” “Well Jesus,” grinned Candaules. “Tell me that you wouldn’t if you had the chance.” He was excited, tired but excited. Today they had closed a huge deal to purchase the largest competitor of … Continue reading The unnamed woman
So what are we doing here today? Answering questions on the the subject of being a nonbinary male. How many questions? 20, as per the title. Do these questions up front count? You bet your sweet ass they do. I’m not sure I can stretch this conceit out to 20 actual questions. Hadn’t we better get started then? We’re getting through these questions pretty quickly. Works for me! So… “nonbinary male”. Paradox much? Not really. Want me to talk you through it? Does that count as one of my questions? No, but that one does. FFS. It’s actually pretty straightforward. … Continue reading On being a nonbinary male: 20 questions
So, recently, and despite my protestations to all who would listen, and many who wouldn’t, I signed up for not just Tinder, but OKCupid too. Admittedly, I’m not that desperate to date again but the chances of finding a new best friend that conformed to my very specific criteria whilst sat at home playing Shadow of the Tomb Raider and listening to Undisclosed seem very minimal indeed. At some point on the future I will write about my experiences and observations of being a gender-nonconforming individual on those platforms, and doubtless I will find a way to stick it to … Continue reading Dating a demisexual: first base and beyond
Part one; in which everyone asks me that question Dig, if you will, the picture, as my never-to-be-forgotten hero Prince once said. It’s a Thursday morning, the very small hours, and we’re sat on a sticky carpet in the long shadows of another indie night. Emily and I are not engaged in a kiss, not yet, but I certainly have ambitions in that area. We’ve been exchanging looks all night and when a mutual acquaintance got sick of us playing eye tag, she dragged both of us together, sat us at a table, and told us to get on with … Continue reading In the words of Diana Ross
“This is the one.” She handed me her phone. “You’ve not had a date so far?” She shook her head. “We matched a couple of weeks ago and have been chatting since, but because of work schedules we can’t get together until this weekend. The unusual name made tracking down the corresponding Instagram profile easy, so I poked around of course -” “Of course.” “- and that’s when I found this.” I could see why she was attracted. My eye was drawn to the red bandage dress, tight and flattering, taut across a slim body. Blonde hair tumbled down around … Continue reading The man in the red dress
Over dinner that night in the hotel restaurant, Eve had been giving Tara every little detail of the day’s photo shoot, which at first freaked Tara out a little, but as the large glasses of Cristal started to work on them Tara found herself more and more intrigued – and ever more horny. She was without a regular boyfriend yet again, and it had been some time since her last. She wasn’t terribly keen on one night stands and was envious of Eve’s lack of qualms over sex – such as having lesbian sex with a celebrity while being photographed … Continue reading Gallagher & White Chapter 2 – A night on the town
They met early next morning to take advantage of the wan, early morning sunlight. The room itself was dirty, with bedraggled curtains of an indeterminate colour and age. The sun struggled to find a way through, casting long shadows in the rest of the room. There was no carpet and the floorboards were coarse and stained. The few rugs were similarly disgusting, and there was a smell in the air as though the windows had not been opened in some time. The wallpaper was completely missing from most parts of the wall, and what little remained was a hideous seventies design in beige and brown. Disturbingly, there were three bullet holes in the wall opposite the door, and there were bullets still in two of them. Continue reading Gallagher & White Chapter 1 – The photo shoot
One of the things I noticed on my journey to the nonbinary side – and at some point, I intend to talk about how I refer to much more than gender when I use that term – was that my sexuality had started to become much more fluid. While I had gay heroes growing up, especially from the pop star fraternity, I was strictly butter side up when it came to girls. I kind of came late to the party as far as romance was concerned. I didn’t really show that much interest in anything romance-wise until Peak ‘85 when … Continue reading How can I tell if my sex drive is changing?
“I had long been curious to wear women’s underwear. But with no one to borrow them from I trekked to the mall and paid a visit to Victoria’s Secret. I wanted a thong and I wanted it skimpy. Wearing the thing itself was not quite what I expected… I became aware that any sort of erection would give myself a wedgie.” Continue reading Bedpost Confessions is my new jam
She let herself in, and was hanging up her jacket when she heard a noise from the kitchens. Seeking its source Emma discovered one of the chefs, a middle-aged ex-army chef named Mike. He was divorced, and had taken the job at the hotel mainly for the free lodging. Emma had never been sure about him. They flirted a little, generally quite harmlessly. Although middle age was upon him, he still had the powerful physique of an army man. She caught him with his nose in the huge, stainless steel fridge, fixing a midnight snack. He was wearing pyjama bottoms … Continue reading Midnight snack
July, 1998. It doesn’t really matter what the date was, because it was the whole of July and the whole of the previous three or four years too. Generally I’d be lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling, wrestling with our old friend insomnia. Sometimes I could fend him off with a combination of sleeping tablets, hay fever tablets, alcohol and wanton, meaningless masturbation but after so long that particular home remedy had all but lost its potency. However, even if it had been working I think we’d have lost our fight that night, because insomnia brought a new … Continue reading Why did we decide to write this blog? Because we want to!