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Journal

Procreating in the time of COVID

Yes, sorry, that’s the best that I can come up with.

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Journal

The Panopticon Hotel

This month I am lucky enough to be the featured new blogger for 4Thoughts this month. As part of my duties I have set the discussion topic of “The gaze in sex or kink”. I’ve been reviewing the entries this evening and they’re all incredibly good. There’s still time to submit so if you haven’t […]

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Journal

Last night a journal saved my life

“There’s not a problem that I can’t fix, coz I can do it in the… Filofax.” True as that may be, we’re getting ahead of ourselves a little. Let’s perform a little DJ backspin trick and rewind the story. It is true that I started keeping a diary as a confused 13yo, after being introduced […]

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Journal Poems

The Erotic Poetry Challenge: “The One”

I mean, who doesn’t love poetry? Apparently, quite a lot of us do. There have been a number of similar stories about the renaissance that poetry is having. Whether it’s the pants-soaking eroticism of Michael Faudet or the wistful heartache of Lang Leav on Instagram, or the simple but hilarious comedy stylings of Brian Bilston […]

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Journal

Soundtrack of my life – Musically Ranting #2

I could have written this entry, I really could. The issue would have been stopping. In ‘Go-Go, Go-Go, Go-Go, Go-Go Your Own Way‘, a post title I’m now regretting, I spoke a little about house music and how I got into it; and how before house, there was Depeche Mode, leather trousers and dubious sexuality […]

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Journal

On how I choose to celebrate my nonbinaryness

I wrote this for May 17th. I wrote it to talk about how I feel about my gender identity, and how I feel about the people who try to interact with it. I didn’t post it because frankly it makes me sound like a sentimental old hippy. And then I made a dark discovery… I […]

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Journal

On not being sure who I lost my virginity to but not for the reasons you might think

Recently a friend sent me an article to read. Entitled “Are we having sex now or what?”, it’s an entry from Greta Christina’s blog and something I’m surprised to say that I never thought of before. In this blog entry, the author attempts to define what sexual intercourse is. Now I realise that historically, when […]

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Journal

Tell me about… getting pleasure from photography

This week’s prompt over at The SafeworD/s Club is ‘pleasure’… Getting pleasure from my photography I’ve written elsewhere about the reasons for starting this blog. Firstly, that I was nearing the big 5-0 (no, I’m not joining the police) and I had a lot on my mind. Secondly, I have struggled with my body image […]

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Journal

On getting your sex education from porno mags

Like many who grew up in the north of England in the 70s and 80s, the sex education provided by my school was woeful. We had one lesson looking at the reproductive system, aged about 10, when we were all so embarrassed to see pictures of penises on our worksheets that we drew Y-fronts on […]

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Journal

On the Playful Promises Regalia Skylar set

I realised it was Wednesday, and I haven’t posted anything today, and I have two pictures I want to share (only one is of me). I haven’t played #WickedWednesday before so I thought I’d link up to that! 4; 12; 3,106; 13; 21. They’re the number of comments left on five consecutive Instagram posts by […]

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Journal

Go-Go, Go-Go, Go-Go, Go-Go Your Own Way – #MusicallyRanting

“Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-House Nation,Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-House Nation,Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-House Nation,Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-Hou, Hou-House Nation” Music and “lyrics” – Farley Keith Seriously, kids of today, you don’t know what you’re missing out on. They just don’t write songs like that any more. I am old. Very old. Not like, Gandalf* old, or even […]

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Journal

On the removal of body hair

I first started shaving my body hair in school. If you took a Yeti, covered him in glue and then rolled him around on a barbershop floor, it would take a look at my legs and start worrying about looking hairless by comparison. It’s fair to say that it was negatively impacting my body  image […]

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Journal Photos

On the taking of selfies for mental health

I was 47 when I took my first selfie. Defining ‘selfie’ as a photograph of oneself by oneself for purely social reasons – i.e. not because I needed a profile pic for a website, or an identification picture for my national speed awareness course – my first selfie was taken in Brighton train station. I […]

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Journal

On the wearing of clothes

Here’s @jvn looking gorge at the Emmys. I’m not entirely sure that I could rock that Dick Strawbridge ‘tache with quite the same confidence, but I would totally take on the rest of the look. I’ve been thinking a lot about clothing lately. Since my mental health issues really escalated, I’ve been obsessed with the […]

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Journal

On being a nonbinary male: 20 questions

So what are we doing here today? Answering questions on the the subject of being a nonbinary male. How many questions? 20, as per the title. Do these questions up front count? You bet your sweet ass they do. I’m not sure I can stretch this conceit out to 20 actual questions.  Hadn’t we better […]

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Journal

Dating a demisexual: first base and beyond

So, recently, and despite my protestations to all who would listen, and many who wouldn’t, I signed up for not just Tinder, but OKCupid too. Admittedly, I’m not that desperate to date again but the chances of finding a new best friend that conformed to my very specific criteria whilst sat at home playing Shadow […]

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Journal

In the words of Diana Ross

Part one; in which everyone asks me that question Dig, if you will, the picture, as my never-to-be-forgotten hero Prince once said. It’s a Thursday morning, the very small hours, and we’re sat on a sticky carpet in the long shadows of another indie night. Emily and I are not engaged in a kiss, not […]

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Journal

How can I tell if my sex drive is changing?

One of the things I noticed on my journey to the nonbinary side – and at some point, I intend to talk about how I refer to much more than gender when I use that term – was that my sexuality had started to become much more fluid. While I had gay heroes growing up, […]

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Journal

Bedpost Confessions is my new jam

“I had long been curious to wear women’s underwear. But with no one to borrow them from I trekked to the mall and paid a visit to Victoria’s Secret. I wanted a thong and I wanted it skimpy. Wearing the thing itself was not quite what I expected… I became aware that any sort of erection would give myself a wedgie.”

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Journal

Why did we decide to write this blog? Because we want to!

July, 1998. It doesn’t really matter what the date was, because it was the whole of July and the whole of the previous three or four years too. Generally I’d be lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling, wrestling with our old friend insomnia. Sometimes I could fend him off with a combination of […]