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Journal

On not being sure who I lost my virginity to but not for the reasons you might think

Recently a friend sent me an article to read. Entitled “Are we having sex now or what?”, it’s an entry from Greta Christina’s blog and something I’m surprised to say that I never thought of before. In this blog entry, the author attempts to define what sexual intercourse is. Now I realise that historically, when […]

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Journal

On getting your sex education from porno mags

Like many who grew up in the north of England in the 70s and 80s, the sex education provided by my school was woeful. We had one lesson looking at the reproductive system, aged about 10, when we were all so embarrassed to see pictures of penises on our worksheets that we drew Y-fronts on […]

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Journal

On the Playful Promises Regalia Skylar set

I realised it was Wednesday, and I haven’t posted anything today, and I have two pictures I want to share (only one is of me). I haven’t played #WickedWednesday before so I thought I’d link up to that! 4; 12; 3,106; 13; 21. They’re the number of comments left on five consecutive Instagram posts by […]

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Journal

On the removal of body hair

I first started shaving my body hair in school. If you took a Yeti, covered him in glue and then rolled him around on a barbershop floor, it would take a look at my legs and start worrying about looking hairless by comparison. It’s fair to say that it was negatively impacting my body  image […]

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Photos Vignettes

On falling asleep to the sound of porn

My sex drive has been spectacularly erratic during lockdown. I’m single (I prefer to think of it as ‘having an imaginary sex life’) and I have wavered between living with one hand permanently down my pants, and getting dressed in the dark so that I don’t have to look at my bits. Throw in the […]

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Journal Photos

On the taking of selfies for mental health

I was 47 when I took my first selfie. Defining ‘selfie’ as a photograph of oneself by oneself for purely social reasons – i.e. not because I needed a profile pic for a website, or an identification picture for my national speed awareness course – my first selfie was taken in Brighton train station. I […]

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Reviews

Review: the Rocks Off Teazer Petite Sensations Beginner’s Vibrating Butt Plug

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Journal

On the wearing of clothes

Here’s @jvn looking gorge at the Emmys. I’m not entirely sure that I could rock that Dick Strawbridge ‘tache with quite the same confidence, but I would totally take on the rest of the look. I’ve been thinking a lot about clothing lately. Since my mental health issues really escalated, I’ve been obsessed with the […]

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Shorts Stories

The unnamed woman

“It appears you don’t believe me when I tell you how hot my PA is,” said Candaules, Managing Director of Lydia plc. He held a tumbler of his favourite 1982 Port Ellen whisky up at eye level, savouring the golden amber colour. “Hot. Fucking hot,” he corrected himself. “So you are shagging her,” smirked his […]

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Journal

On being a nonbinary male: 20 questions

So what are we doing here today? Answering questions on the the subject of being a nonbinary male. How many questions? 20, as per the title. Do these questions up front count? You bet your sweet ass they do. I’m not sure I can stretch this conceit out to 20 actual questions.  Hadn’t we better […]

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Journal

Dating a demisexual: first base and beyond

So, recently, and despite my protestations to all who would listen, and many who wouldn’t, I signed up for not just Tinder, but OKCupid too. Admittedly, I’m not that desperate to date again but the chances of finding a new best friend that conformed to my very specific criteria whilst sat at home playing Shadow […]

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Journal

In the words of Diana Ross

Part one; in which everyone asks me that question Dig, if you will, the picture, as my never-to-be-forgotten hero Prince once said. It’s a Thursday morning, the very small hours, and we’re sat on a sticky carpet in the long shadows of another indie night. Emily and I are not engaged in a kiss, not […]

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Shorts Stories

The man in the red dress

“This is the one.” She handed me her phone. “You’ve not had a date so far?” She shook her head. “We matched a couple of weeks ago and have been chatting since, but because of work schedules we can’t get together until this weekend. The unusual name made tracking down the corresponding Instagram profile easy, […]

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Journal

How can I tell if my sex drive is changing?

One of the things I noticed on my journey to the nonbinary side – and at some point, I intend to talk about how I refer to much more than gender when I use that term – was that my sexuality had started to become much more fluid. While I had gay heroes growing up, […]